"Being Perfect" - Helping Your Child Accept Mistakes

A Parent asked..."How do you help your child when they think they have to be perfect?..."

...How do you help them be more relaxed, realistic, and feel good about who they are, faults and all?"

Heather Hale's & Todd Nahigian's Response

The first thing to remember is that parents' role modeling and a child's perceived expectations of his/her parents has a direct impact on whether they think they have to be perfect. Be aware of the statements you make to your kids. Demonstate to your child it is okay to make mistakes. Role model how to deal with imperfections and faults gracefully. Also be mindful your child is getting information from peers, the community, at school and in the media. Your children operate in a community, like it or not, where appearances can be considered very important.

Ask who your child sees as perfect? Have them describe that person and their attributes. Comparing is something we all do to a certain degree but it crosses the line when you're unable to acknowledge that everyone has faults, and it is okay to make mistakes. Making mistakes is a normal part of growing and learning.

Helping your child to see imperfections or missteps as opportunities to learn or grow removes a lot of pressure, helps keep the line of communication open between you and your child and can set the stage for invaluable conversations.

Share your comments by selecting "Add a Comment" below. Type your comment, PREVIEW it, and then SAVE it. You'll see a message about the comment being reviewed. That step allows us to reduce spam and post only relevant comments. Thank you!

About our BLOG authors: Heather Hale, Psy.D., LCPC, CADC. Todd Nahigian, Assistant Director CROYA. Both have extensive experience working with pre-teens, teens, and parents in our community.